Funny Pick Up Lines – Haha… are you a stand-up comedian?

Funny

OK, so you are not stand-up comedian, but you still want to be witty and shine in a rainbow of smiles, giggles and laughs.

You want to come off as FUNNY, the funniest in the room! To make the girls have hysterical stomach cramps of laughter, gasping for air, begging you to stop being side-splittingly funny, because they can’t breathe.

Let yourself go. Be silly and release your jolly spirit. The comedy force shall be strong within you. Here you go, have a stab at these hilarious pick up lines.

 

Hey, are you looking for good sex? [ No ] Well you’ve come to the right place!

I can give you 12 inches, in 3 installments

  • I’m going to kiss you now. Say ‘Kiss Me’ if you want me to stop
  • You make me wish I weren’t gay!
  • Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
  • I have amnesia – do I come here often?
  • Your lips look lonely. Let me introduce them to mine
  • Your shirt has to go, but you can stay
  • If I flip this coin, what are my chances of getting either head or tail?
  • With great penis, comes great responsibility
  • Hey, you should stop eating magnets. You’re making me attracted to you
  • What do I have to do to get on your drunk dial list?
  • On a scale from one to ten, how old are you?
  • Tag! You’re it! then pretend to run away
  • I’m in a Boyband called Wrong Direction
  • Are you fertile? I need a favor. (Why?) I need a baby by next summer in order to get my inheritence
  • You must be in the wrong place, the Miss Universe contest is over there
  • Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!
  • Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants
  • If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
  • Well, here I am. So what are your other two wishes?
  • If you were a booger I would pick you first
  • My magic watch says that you aren’t wearing any underwear. (She says she does) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast
  • I’m invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
  • Did you bring your helmet? To prevent you getting a concussion when I bang you against the headboard tonight
  • Don’t let me be the one that got away
  • The word of the day is legs. Let’s go back to my place and spread the word
  • If looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction
  • If you were a burger at McDonald’s you’d be the McGorgeous
  • Please tell your breasts to stop staring at my eyes
  • Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
  • Know what’s on the menu? Me ‘n’ u
  • Hiya good looking, whatcha got cookin?
  • Hey baby, you’re so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what’s your name?
  • You’re a drug. I’m an addict. I’m gonna have to check into rehab tomorrow
  • Did you just fart? (No) Coz you just blew me away
  • Are your initials LSD? Cause you got me trippin
  • Smile if you want to sleep with me
  • You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, and I understand, that you may be too sober to find me attractive… in that case, allow me to buy you a drink